I'm sick and I'm sick of seeing him with so many girlfriends.
I'm unofficially giving him up, but I still care for him! Hui Ting's a loser seriously.
I'm hoping for some concern from him but he's not. I think too highly of myself. Who am I to him? Why should he care for a nobody like me?!
Shall just die in 2012 alone.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
take a step at a time
不喜欢的人，可以容易地讲个笑话，随便地发个短信。喜欢的，却变成心里的死穴一个，动都不敢动，甚至，看到的时候，话都说不出来。喜欢某个人，偏偏见到她，一句话没有。看着旁边的朋友和他谈笑风生，心里又嫉妒又着急。暗示或者表白心际，一句我爱你，又怕一切是自己的自作多情。
I'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling jealous. How I wish I can say it out. Now, I didn't even have someone to talk to. My friends think that I neglected them because of him and doesn't want to find me anymore. They think I treated them as spare tyre like what the always did to me.
When he said he was out with friend during late night driving around, I was thinking of her or her or her. I think I'm mad. Yes. Indeed. That's bad! I promise to forget him as fast as I could. Be friend ya!
I'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling jealous. How I wish I can say it out. Now, I didn't even have someone to talk to. My friends think that I neglected them because of him and doesn't want to find me anymore. They think I treated them as spare tyre like what the always did to me.
When he said he was out with friend during late night driving around, I was thinking of her or her or her. I think I'm mad. Yes. Indeed. That's bad! I promise to forget him as fast as I could. Be friend ya!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I'll try to forget you
Facing the fact that he will not like me. As always I'm an alternative, not an option.
I'm such a pain in the ass. I hope I'll disappear in this world, never exists. Seeing you with other girls give me pain, but I can't do anything. It's so weird that I'm feeling jealous and can't express. If I express, it'll bring awkward-ness. Contradicting me, still can't face reality.
People pretty like fairy but me, ugly like... I can't find a word to express!
I find us having lots of common. My one-sided thoughts. Well, I'll bury my feelings again and hope that you'll never know. I won't feel awkward and we can still be friends, a good long term friend.
I hope I can control my behaviours towards you. I cannot care for you too much. Must control.
I can't stop browsing your facebook page. HOW?
I'm such a pain in the ass. I hope I'll disappear in this world, never exists. Seeing you with other girls give me pain, but I can't do anything. It's so weird that I'm feeling jealous and can't express. If I express, it'll bring awkward-ness. Contradicting me, still can't face reality.
People pretty like fairy but me, ugly like... I can't find a word to express!
I find us having lots of common. My one-sided thoughts. Well, I'll bury my feelings again and hope that you'll never know. I won't feel awkward and we can still be friends, a good long term friend.
I hope I can control my behaviours towards you. I cannot care for you too much. Must control.
I can't stop browsing your facebook page. HOW?
Monday, August 22, 2011
another day w/out him
He's on MC today. Wondered if he's really sick. Wanted to chat with him but I'm scared. If I asked him directly, I find it awkward. I'm scared he don't like. Fright~~ But as friend, I'm just out of concern, ya.
Probably he's waiting for my message (night-dreaming away). HAHA. Just fantasizing on my own :S
Are you sick?
Feeling better now?
How are you feeling now?
Got see doctor?
Drink more water.
I wanna say it out but I can't.
Probably he's waiting for my message (night-dreaming away). HAHA. Just fantasizing on my own :S
Are you sick?
Feeling better now?
How are you feeling now?
Got see doctor?
Drink more water.
I wanna say it out but I can't.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I met someone...again.
I love my working life. Frankly speaking. I met nice people, who are true to you. You might think I'm naive as I just started my working life for 3 months but my intuition tells me so :D
As my title, I met someone I like a lot. This is another one-sided love of mine again :( Really like him so much that my chest hurts. He got a couple of girl-friends surrounding him. Pretty, lovely, cute, feminine, elegant, bubbly... and me, just an normal ugly one who think highly of myself that he will likes me :( I'm so happy whenever I see him.
I think I'm making a fool of myself at times. I care too much about him that I'm losing my own self. I talked rubbish that I regretted blurting out brainlessly. I think he can't stand me but as being polite, he tolerate who I am. I can't control my own feeling. I'm waiting for his messages everyday though it's impossible for him to do so. If miracles does happen but it doesn't apply on me.
Is it too obvious? I think he knows how I feel because my clique always say it out loud. He's so nice that he never avoid me. He's just so nice that makes me double sad. I'm looking forward for something that doesn't belong to me.
How to stop liking him? Meeting him everyday at work makes it difficult to accomplish. My mind just can't function well whenever he's around.
Why am I not born a beauty? I don't blame my parents, but the world's so reality. Pretty people stands tall and ugly faggot like me should hide and die alone. That's my life. Get criticised and face the fact that I'm super duper ugly woman living in this world.
Why he don't like me? Why he's not in love with me? Why am I born such an ugly faggot? Why are my characters and personality such a nuisance?
Will I be loved?
As my title, I met someone I like a lot. This is another one-sided love of mine again :( Really like him so much that my chest hurts. He got a couple of girl-friends surrounding him. Pretty, lovely, cute, feminine, elegant, bubbly... and me, just an normal ugly one who think highly of myself that he will likes me :( I'm so happy whenever I see him.
I think I'm making a fool of myself at times. I care too much about him that I'm losing my own self. I talked rubbish that I regretted blurting out brainlessly. I think he can't stand me but as being polite, he tolerate who I am. I can't control my own feeling. I'm waiting for his messages everyday though it's impossible for him to do so. If miracles does happen but it doesn't apply on me.
Is it too obvious? I think he knows how I feel because my clique always say it out loud. He's so nice that he never avoid me. He's just so nice that makes me double sad. I'm looking forward for something that doesn't belong to me.
How to stop liking him? Meeting him everyday at work makes it difficult to accomplish. My mind just can't function well whenever he's around.
Why am I not born a beauty? I don't blame my parents, but the world's so reality. Pretty people stands tall and ugly faggot like me should hide and die alone. That's my life. Get criticised and face the fact that I'm super duper ugly woman living in this world.
Why he don't like me? Why he's not in love with me? Why am I born such an ugly faggot? Why are my characters and personality such a nuisance?
Will I be loved?
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