Why no one likes me?

Having a hard time to get into the working life. Assistant manager just hate me. She picks on me on everything! EVERYTHING.

I'm so stupid and why can't I learn things fast?! Why am I making mistake like always?! Why can't I absorb what people says to me? Why I so slow and stupid??? WHY?

Why can't I keep things to myself? Why am I telling him everything and he's not interested! Can't you just see he don't feel like listening to you? Why make your problem his problem? 

I need a soulmate who listens to me. But, no one. He's not the one because he doesn't want to be one. He don't like me. 

He's trying to tell me he's like the other girl yesterday. Is it? I'll never harass you. Can't I just like you in this way?

Why is the world boycotting me? I'm tired of living ever since I get to know this world. It's just so cruel and reality. 

I just want a simple life. Why can't I? 

I feeling like killing myself now!

I'm having the most horrible weekends this week! I got myself in deep shit that I probably will lose my job and get sack.
I pray hard and chant hard enough till I'm so tensed and wanna end my life. It's a stupid thought but that's what stress brings: Commit Suicide.
I dont want to end my life such a way but this world is so terrible. I can't breathe and sleep properly since yesterday and looking myself in the mirror, I look so awful fugly.
I didnt want to provoke my colleague but she seems to be damn pissed with me! I'm so fucking guilty and she might be hating me now! HOW?
Nothing goes right as you see.
EK also ignored me because I'm such a whiner and he cant stand it. I didnt mean to be like that but it just happens. I'm a goner.. Shall perish and vanish in this world.
I cried so hard and helpless. I talked to yuling and to her, I shall chill myself since things are settled. But those guilts that I'm having and sins... I just cant let it go.
I really wish that everything will be fine and my colleague dont hate me. I so stupid and retard and difficult to teach. I know. I'm also trying hard to be a fast and clever human being but I'm not given a chance.
I think the world really hates me for living, Why create me and let the whole world suffers? Letting the people around me suffers? Letting me suffers the pain relationship that I will never have, the work stress , the hatred from my manger and colleague and no love from this world.
I love EK but he dont. He think I such a loser so he just entertain me, probably pity me. If confessing to him works, I think it's part of my craziness and prepare to go IMH. He sure rejected someone like me! I'm a goner!
PQ, I'm really truly sorry for the problems I caused. Please dont be angry with me though it's hard. I'm truly sorry.